When They Judge, It’s Not About You


If you are in Recovery, chances are, you know someone who cannot understand how ‘people like us’ could ever allow our lives to be transformed, taken over, and destroyed by a chemical or process addiction.

They just cannot fathom being so stupid.

I have heard variations of comments like similar to these:

Those people are stupid. 
How could you let your life get like that. 
Wastes of space. 
They don’t deserve to live. 
Line em’ up – kill em’ all. 
These people are what’s wrong with our (seemingly perfect otherwise) country. 
We waste so much time and money on people like this. 
My taxes pay for these trashy losers. Wow. 
Just quit already, get a job for f*ck’s sake.

Most of the time it is a lack of understanding or a lack of empathetic development somewhere up in their pretty little heads, and for others, it is not about education or developing empathy through personal, first-hand, experience. It is simply much easier for them to look the other way by considering us throw away humans.


I have wondered what makes people so judgy, so harsh, so hateful, and quick to assume the value people who struggle with substance abuse or addiction.

Lack of education.
Some people don’t know anything and they believe in their soul that, that’s enough. They are set in their ways and there really isn’t any reason to try to change their perspective. There are only two ways that will happen- and that is between them and God. So don’t worry about the stares or dirty looks. They have no idea that addiction doesn’t make you actual garbage.

To drop a nasty, harsh, or down-right mean opinion about the soul of another person anyway, requires a high opinion of self and the false belief of personal authority & superiority over another human….and not only that human, but a very large group of people. These people usually aren’t very nice to any other humans. Don’t take it personally.

Lack of empathy. Well and a lack of life experience or interaction. Let’s face it. Everyone knows someone who has struggled or who is struggling with drugs or alcohol. You can only develop empathy if you choose to be intentional about opening your mind and heart to interacting and being around someone who isn’t as perfect as you are. Only then can you begin to understand them a tiny bit more. We can’t force them to want to understand or want to know more.

My point really is- people in all forms of recovery are often stalled or shamed so much and instead of feeling proud of themselves, they feel ostracized and ashamed.

I just want you to know that people aren’t all bad. Not all people are proud owners of these characteristics. You will encounter this kind of stuff from time to time, and in my experience and observations, many of them are family members.

But that still doesn’t mean that there aren’t so many people out there who are loving and kind and accepting and understanding, who will hug you and love you and walk beside you.



Tell me how you're feeling.

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