Time and again, I talk to people about their current struggles and time and again, I hear them express to me their frustrations.
How they feel like they’re doing something wrong or they’re failing because they’re struggling.
Often I catch myself feeling this way.
Why is it that we berate ourselves when we struggle?
Here we are living this sober life -and we’re feeling every single thing that comes our way head-on.
We absorb.
We sit with the hard things.
We acknowledge how we’re feeling.
We are honest about the depths of our lows and bring humility to the table when we’re sailing smooth.
We have vowed to live a life dedicated to facing our fears without excuses or short-cuts. There’s nothing wrong with struggling with sadness or grief-or mental our health.
Having tough times doesn’t necessarily reflect how hard we are or aren’t “working our program.”
It’s actually a natural process to experiences ups and downs. I am pretty sure the mindset that life is supposed to offer only “highs” is what got some of us into trouble to begin with.
It’s so easy for us to ride ourselves so hard- we forget that we are literally facing our lives with 100% commitment to our health. We have abandoned a life of escape. Most of us have uprooted our world to start over fresh. The majority of us are living brand new lives that we might still have a hard time recognizing.
After twelve years I still look around in awe of the life that I have.
We are enjoying new things.
We are not numbing.
We are not hiding.
We are not running.
And that is f****** brave!
This life that we’re choosing to live is an incredibly powerful and courageous choice.
So there is no shame in having a rough day, a tough week, a grueling weekend, or a disheveled season.
We’re human beings with human emotions.
Somewhere along the line we have aligned positivity and happiness with sobriety, and have forgotten that sobriety through the rough patches is the whole point of learning how to live a sober life free from our drugs of choice, or any bondage that suffocates our potential, or that keeps us from living our purpose.
The key is to not lose sight of how far we’ve come -where God has walked with us from our old lives of insanity and constant turmoil, and what God has for us in the future.
For me, I have found that I just have to focus on how I’m feeling right now.
I face what is, and continue to accept what will be. I am in control of how I deal with what is in front of me.
So while life is not linear and neither is our healing- I know that I won’t ever attempt to face my life’s problems or celebrate my life’s milestones or victories, with the approaches I used to that almost killed me.
And that’s still a victory.
So.
To anyone out there having a hard time- please keep going.
Remember how far you’ve come and remind yourself that it is okay to not always be a whistling, smiling, happy human.
We just cannot sit by and allow ourselves to get stuck.
We have to stay active in our healing- and sometimes that means taking another step forward, one heavy leg at a time, one giant leap away from our old ways and our old, go-to coping routines.
And we will continue trying our best to walk through these days and weeks and years the best that we can -so that we can give our best to this world, to our families, our friends, and our loved ones.