I’m not sure if I’ll ever stop talking about Jesus and what His love did for my life.
I remember the girl I was walking through the doors of my first Celebrate Recovery meeting, and I will never forget how I felt that evening
My overwhelming fear of failing.
The hopelessness and feelings of being lost, overlooked, useless, not worth saving, and exhausted.
I knew the details of the messes that I had created and what my life really looked like.
I knew who I was and the things I had done.
All of my relationships had been destroyed.
I didn’t own anything.
I had legal trouble that weighing on me. I didn’t know where to start first.
But the things is- I started.
I started even though I was convinced that I would fail. I began a journey without any idea of what might be coming, or what next step I should take.
When it came down to it I decided that I didn’t want to die.
All that I needed to move forward was willingness. I needed to be willing to take the first step, even if that step was right into the big, black, scary unknown.
I probably won’t ever stop telling other people what Jesus did for my life.
I won’t sit here and tell you that he cured my addiction, took away my depression, relieved my anxiety completely, or fixed my broken family or all of our dysfunctionor, or cured their addictions.
I can’t tell you any of that.
What I can tell you is that he took my past and my pain and he showed me how to use it for something good and much bigger than me.
I can tell you that He knew my past. My secrets. My mistakes. My bad choices.
And he showed me a love that I had never experienced before in my life, full of radical acceptance and hard truth anyway. It’s real.
So while I still live my day-to-day life imperfect-healing, learning, growing, and still suffering consequences, repercussions, and after effects of my experiences -I’m still free. I’m still radically loved. I know my purpose.
And those things are invaluable.