The real lifestyle changes that Recovery has to offer will have the opportunity to begin and become active parts of our new lives:
when we choose to close our apps and decide to power off our laptops; and get to work.
I know not everyone has meetings available in their area, or the type of meeting that you may prefer isn’t always offered close enough to you.
I understand that inspirational pages, pictures, posters, quotes, sayings, and blog posts can be instrumental and pivotal in helping you to keep going and to keep a positive mindset.
I get that connecting with groups and individuals on Twitter and Facebook can help you gain a sense of community and support.
I also understand that it can be scary to go ‘out there’ and try to interact and live what we are learning.
You see, I began my Recovery without a support system. I have since built one, all based off of the very list that I just typed.
I have met SO many supportive people online.
Many inspirational and informational pages on social media definitely give me that kick in the as* that I need so often, and much of what I read helps to ‘keep me going’ or to help me to stay positive, continually moving and looking toward the future.
I also own an inspirational page, so obviously, I COMPLETELY believe in the power and importance of having community, camaraderie, support and a good & healthy flow of information, data and encouragement.
But I also know that talking in chats & scrolling past pretty posters with positive sayings or quotes alone, simply isn’t enough to grow and maintain lasting Recovery.
Not by itself.
These things should be a PART OF our Recovery.
These things should be SUPPLEMENTAL.
These things are very important, but are just pieces of the integrated puzzle of what should be a tailored plan that we have for our new life.
Alone, utilizing these valuable (yet incomplete) resources –
simply won’t cut it.
We have to unplug and IMPLEMENT the things we learn.
We have to KNOW, but then we have to go out and DO.
We have to put our knowledge and beliefs into PRACTICE.
Otherwise, we aren’t growing. We are sitting in neutral, filling our minds to the brim with information and warm fuzzy feelings as a result of hitting ‘like’ and ‘share’ continuously.
Let’s mesh our online head-knowledge
with our everyday lives; put our Recovery into practice.
‘Recovery in Action’ doesn’t have to be this messy or complex thing…
There are small things that we can do on a daily basis that can help us implement action into what we already know we should be doing.
We tend to think that ‘normal’ is some combination of being busy, having important jobs and staying sober.
This is not the same thing as working Recovery.
Remember. Recovery is life-long journey of maintaining a healthy, active and progressive lifestyle. We are moving at our own pace here.
We cannot avoid ‘busy’.
And on the other hand we can take on too much to avoid working our Recovery.
It is easy to be sober and to make sure that you stay busy busy.
Whether we are talking working long-hours, taking care of children or a family, managing a home or being in charge of three Recovery pages online- it’s still not the same thing as working your personal Recovery.
Make sure that each day you take some time for yourself. Find your center.
Make sure there isn’t anything that you could cut out of your schedule.
Reassess your progress honestly.
Do you need to let go of a commitment? Is everything that you have taken on (on top of family, and a 9-5 completely necessary? Is it doing more harm than good? Etc.)
Don’t allow yourself to make excuses about not having enough free time to have a little bit of alone or quiet time.
**If it is 5 minutes or 15 minutes, it doesn’t matter. Fit it in.
GO for your goals!
It is nice to read about ‘letting go of the past’ or ‘reaping what you sow’
but it is another thing to put yourself out there, and go for whatever ‘it’ is for you.
I don’t care if you simply want to put your brave pants on and join an exercise class, if you want to submit the transcript to your first book to a publisher, or if ‘going for it’ just means that you are going to put in three resumes or applications per day, every day, until you get a j.o.b.
The voices in your head truly hold no power if you take charge. The past may never stop whispering completely, but a great way to kill it, is to move forward by taking action- even if you are taking baby steps!
**Do it!
If you are changing your people, places and things….
try this:
changing your people, places and things.
This one gets me every time.
People love to hit ‘like’ on this one, and I believe, truly understand how important this is.
It is something that Celebrate Recovery, NA and AA all call attention to specifically.
It also seems to be a hard one for people. (It was for me as well, in the beginning.)
But this one definitely needs action to back it up, because believing it will never be enough to reap the positive effects of this principle.
-If you use to drive down a certain street that is close to a seller’s house- find a new route. If you have spent years in a bar, restaurant or other ‘spot’ – don’t go there anymore.
-Go through your phone. Delete EVERY SINGLE number in their of ANYONE that you use to use with, buy from or party with in any capacity. I don’t care if you have known them since second grade. Buh-bye (at least for a while).
-Use the block feature on Facebook. I am serious. People are nosey. Most notice that you are changing, and don’t want that. Sometimes people will stick around to invite you to things you shouldn’t be going to, or to continually slip that mindset into your news feed. It does matter and it does have an effect on you whether you want to admit it or not. Just reading about what their doing, or places that they are going can negatively impact your thoughts. Get rid of it all.
-Throw away ashtrays. Throw away lighters, coolers, wine glasses, bongs, or anything else that might get those wheels in your head turning.
**If you are truly behind the notion that changing people, places and things in your life will help ensure your sobriety and recovery, do the scary thing- and actually change them.
Be honest and be nice.
This is also another popular and simple notion.
It is much harder to do out in the real world.
But it helps you grow, and will help you to gain confidence in the new you.
If you walk out of Wal-Mart, look down at your cart and realize that your bottled water is sitting there at the bottom, not-purchased…and .even though it is cold, you are tired and it would be a long annoying walk back inside, and another annoying wait in a customer service line- walk yourself back in there and pay for the water.
Be nice to people. This one is still hard for me, but offering grace to others is something that is important to our recoveries too. We have asked for forgiveness and are trying to make amends and live as new people. The not giving a fuck attitude is out the window. Try holding a door open for someone, and not caring if anyone has held one open for you today. Say something nice to someone, or choose not to huff and puff or curse if you are forced to wait behind a 93-year-old woman who insists not only on writing a gosh forsaken check, but who also has to tell stories to the cashier as she records her spending in her log book.
**Learning to treat others kindly, being honest at all costs, and offering a tiny bit of grace to others when we have been offered insane amounts of it can go a long way in helping us to grow and change little by little as we go about our everyday, real-world lives.
That mindful thing.
We all support and like those posters and pictures that encourage present living or mindfulness.
Living in the present doesn’t mean being reckless or dangerous.
It can mean trying to embrace or purposefully create some moments of mindfulness for yourself. It can mean the simple act of noticing things that you hadn’t ever taken the time to before you are living more intently.
So the next time you are rushing, slow down. Nothing comes from rushing aside from stress. Notice the sunrise on your way to work. Take it in, even if only for a second. If you are at a stop light on your way home from work, take some time to soak in the sun setting. Watch the snow fall for a few minutes, gaze at it untouched- and breathe in the crisp air.
Watch your kids play for a few minutes, take in their little laughs and smiles.
This one hits me close to home. I still get teary when I have these intense moments with the earth and all its wonders and all things that God created. He gave so much for us to take in, it is overwhelming. Sometimes, Recovery shows us how lucky we are to be alive. We notice all of the blessings surrounding us that much more. I am just blown away that I missed so much for so long.