I think because of my past, my upbringing, and my experiences -one of the things I hate most post-recovery—- is the unknown.
Like most people, I don’t enjoy not having answers or not knowing what’s coming next.
But because of the trauma I survived, the illusion of control is a comfort I am still learning to free myself from.
The unknown. Unexpected things.
That is the gap I fear most; the one that I have to rely on my faith and not forget who has carried me through the fire and through my healing journey.
God is faithful.
I can’t allow my spirit to fill with doubt or my mind to drown in fear-fuled thoughts, that are far from reality.
Fear makes me feel unsafe. It wants me to forget all the things that I’ve been through, and conquered, and all the victories.
Essentially, it wants me to forget who I am and where I’ve been, and what God has carried me from.
So just for today I choose to remember-God will not leave me or forsake me.
I believe that we have been promised a way to endure and to not be overtaken.
We have been promised peace in the midst of storms.
No one said sobriety would be easy.
Or that healing meant we’d escape the unexpected.
So if you are struggling through something today, please join me in committing to Truth. In choosing to believe that we can do hard things, and there is still good in our midst.
We’re never alone in any of this-and we don’t have to be in control.
Things will work out the way they’re supposed to