I just started a Bible study that I am pretty excited about. I am only on day number three, but I am already so ready to share what I have learned with you. The study I am doing is only going to focus in on fifteen particular Psalms, (known as the Psalms of Ascent) but on day one, one of the homework questions asked me to dig around in all 150 Psalms.
One of the questions asked that I look around and pay attention to the first few lines of any psalm of my choosing, noting any emotion or feelings I sensed the writer was conveying.
So I did.
For example, it went something like this:
*Psalm 7:1-2~ Fear, distress, urgency
*Psalm 13:1-2~Frustration, confusion, impatience
*Psalm 38~Hopelessness
*Psalm 61~ Desperation
*Psalm 73:3~ Envy, injustice
These are just the expressive words that came to my mind as I read the beginning of these particular psalms.
The next thing we were asked to do for the homework was to read to the end of each psalm that we chose and take note of how each author chose to close their writing.
Every psalm that I chose opened with some sort of confusion or distress…..
and ended with some variation of praise and admiration (a benediction) for the Lord.
Although I am only on day three of this study I have learned and connected two important points to the psalms so far:
- We can learn so much from the psalms. So much depth. So many meanings. Angles. Customary practices of those times. There are so many levels and layers and ways to apply it to our spiritual lives and our relationship with God, but in this particular instance I felt and connected with these emotions. I understand pain, desperation, confusion, hopelessness, frustration, envy, impatience, injustice, and urgency. These were real people. These were men who God used and called. King David was powerful and is considered to be a pretty important biblical figure, and yet- he struggled and he questioned and still praised God in the midst of the struggles and trying emotions. Still, he sought God in prayer and praise in his time of need.
- We can go to God. Lay face down in our despair. Our messes. Our destruction. We can cry. We can bring our real, raw, honest feelings no matter what they are. Honesty is not inconsistent with worship and we can use our emotions as a connection point with God, rather than allowing them to be a distraction or a barrier between our earthly lives and our relationship with our creator. We can use our struggles as avenues to worship. We can still praise God for who he is and what he is going to do, even if we go before God with our whole, imperfect heart- whatever condition it may be in at a given time.
These two things are points I want to remember for a long time. It’s okay to not be okay all of the time. We have never been asked to present perfect before the cross, and even if we crawl toward God without an ounce of energy to move on, or if we’re confused, desperate, frustrated or feeling hopeless- he hears us. He is there. He is worthy to be praised and he will still use us, with and despite all of our imperfection. He just wants us to seek him through those times, and thank him when he pulls us through to the other side.
I am so excited to see what else I uncover in the psalms! (Nerd.)
How long have you suffered with this?