Endure.

Twelve years into my recovery from addiction, I am comfortable describing myself as a chronic over-indulger who has had to spend a lot of time reevaluating my relationship with consumption.

Coffee?
Yes, love it. Often, I have one too many cups but not as many as I used to.
Doublemint Gum?
Enjoy chewing it, but not just one stick. I must barrel through the ENTIRE pack in one day.
Oh’, those cupcakes my kids made last night?
Soon they’ll be history. Gone.

But in early recovery none of those things mattered.

The problem that I had with over-indulging got lost in the excitement that I wasn’t dead, and it didn’t really make a difference whether I had three or thirty-three cups of coffee.

Priorities.

As I accumulated sober days my recovery shifted from fixating on lengths of sober time to a more direct focus on personal growth; digging deeper into my habits and coping mechanisms, and gaining insight into how I function and why.

Nothing about this journey has been easy or instantaneous.

The only whimsy involved in this has whole process has been the Grace that carried me from death to life when I was exhausted and hopeless.

The way I view my shortcomings has changed. This over indulgent glitch I seem to carry is quite possibly a DNA marker, (sarcasm not science) but I no longer feel trapped by it.

and THAT is the beauty of recovery.

I can accept that this might be woven into my fabric, but fabric can be manipulated and changed into something different.

My limitations can’t stand against choosing to learn or being open to evolving and certainly can’t win against applying God’s truth to my life.

The power that I have within me is found in God who strengthens me to overcome temptation, who has shown me how to look at self-control as a gift that can be developed and strengthened.

Here is a Bible verse I want to share with you guys.

When it comes to the topic of temptation, it is a classic, widely known piece of scripture often refreenced to help people who are struglging, and one that I have recently researched and read, re-read and torn apart.

Stay with me:

1 Corinthians 10:13.

(Good News Translation)
Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.

(Holman Christian Standard Bible)
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to humanity. God is faithful, and He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation He will also provide a way of escape so that you are able to bear it. 

(New Living Translation)
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

(Translations taken from BibleHub.com)

YOU GUYS.

Listen look at this:

en·dure//verb

1. suffer (something painful or difficult) patiently. synonyms: undergo, go through, live through, experience, meet, encounter; More
2. remain in existence; last. synonyms: last, live, live on, go on, hold on, abide, continue, persist, remain, stay, survive;

I only shared a few translations of this verse, but every one of them end the same way.

When we are tempted we will be able to GET THROUGH it.
It doesn’t say escape, avoid, magically skip over, or be saved from.

We will be able to make it through. We can endure.
Using the synonyms listed for endure-
We will be able to persist.
We will be able to survive.
To live through.
To go on, continue.
To suffer patiently.

So you see, sometimes to endure is to simply go on, and other times it will be to suffer paitently, but we endure nonetheless.

None of those things promise us easy.
But the one thing they offer is hope that we will be able to make it.

If we believe what God tells us, we can be certain that we will be given what we need to succumb to temptation.

We might make it through looking like a mess. be holding on tight, disheveled, tired, sweaty, and terrified, but WE WILL MAKE IT THROUGH.

We can endure each wave that comes our way and each time, it will get easier to have faith and to see that we are capable, with God, to get through the things that could have killed us. Or for me, the cupcake cravings that haunt me at night. Whichever.

So today, please remember:

It will come. The urges. The mind wandering. The temptations.

But WE CAN get through it.