First Meeting in 10 Years.

I went to a meeting last month.
Crazy, right?

For those of you who don’t know here’s some quick history.

I began my recovery in a 12-step program.
People like to proclaim that these kinds of things aren’t treatment- but I have to strongly disagree.

For some of us- it is all we have to start.

It was all I had available to me at the time as a viable option.
And I stand behind the power of the program and for the people it works for.

My 12-step family? They became my family. My home. My new normal. My sounding board. My support system.

It’s where I learned how to live one moment at a time.

I went for two years and then life happened. My needs changed. Our family grew. My recovery changed. We moved to a different city and bought our first house.

I stopped going.

I have only since attended Al-Anon when I need it- and I have only been to one Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in my life and that was for a class observation.

(And for the record, I did not enjoy it.)

So my first Celebrate Recovery meeting in 10 long years -last month.

I went to personally celebrate my 12 years of sobriety mark to share my hope with a group.

How did it go?

Well what happened was everything I expected to happen.

When I approached the church doors, I felt nervous, despite knowing what to expect. Completely blown away and grateful that I have a testimony to share, and also that I was given the opportunity to share it.

I was welcomed by everyone with open arms, open hearts, and open minds.

People were friendly and inviting.

-and it still felt like home.

It fit.

It still fit.

My heart felt a kind of peace and excitement I can only compare to meeting an old friend and picking up right where you left off with ease, and familiar, casual comfort.

No awkwardness or hard feelings. Only positive vibes, laughs, and acceptance that is silently understood but widely felt.

I sat in small group listening to women share their positives and negatives from the prior week and their hopes for the upcoming one.

We connected with ease on an organic, authentic level that only makes sense in the rooms.

That is the one characteristic that distinguishes this community-the unwavering and almost unusual bond.

I have never truly appreciated the trust that seems to happen by default when we are gathered together.

I have not since found any place on earth, not even the church, where that level of trust and support is given freely and automatically reciprocated without a thought.

Not another place I have entered yet where I know the women care, have no ulterior motives, and nothing but genuine love, respect, and understanding for your personal journey.

The most intriguing take-away for me was the simplistic, deep comradery that develops between spirits of people who are all sitting in one space, with diverse backgrounds, complex needs, but with one strong commonality- we are okay with not being okay.

I drove home feeling inspired.

Supported.

Invigorated.

Thankful and blown away by Jesus’ ability to weave diversity together into one clear, concise culmination of hope.

I have spent the weeks since reflecting on my short time with them and I have realized that Celebrate Recovery will always be my safe space.

A place I know with certainty I will always belong.

A place of refuge for the tired soul looking for a solid place to land.

Always growing, moving, giving back.

Recycling love like crazy.

And although my personal needs and recovery regimen have changed, I am not convinced that anything could ever replicate what I have found in the gift of Celebrate Recovery.