Hidden secrets will destroy you from the inside out.
Hiding behind substances will only deepen the roots of pain and the original problems.
Hiding from God- is unrealistic.
Hiding from reality is really exhausting.
The whole time that I was hiding, I really thought that I was protecting myself or blending in.
Maybe that was true in the beginning. I spent my childhood hiding, tucking myself safely away. Sometimes physically, other times I hid inside of my mind to block out what I needed to block out. I morphed into a person who could hide in plain sight.
I am positive that this was a coping mechanism, and it didn’t really translate well as the years went by.
I hid through the years of my adolescence in different dysfunctional relationships. I used substances as a way to end pain, and to force myself out of my comfort zone.
I was just drowning in severe depression and continuously reburying resentment that kept boiling to the surface.
It was the perfect storm. My addiction crept up on me and after it took over, hiding was my full-time job.
The lies always seemed like they had me right where they wanted me.
I failed miserably at my first few sobriety attempts. I really did. I didn’t think I could do it.
I was afraid of failing and I was so scared to see what was out there.
I knew that I would have to face all of the things that I had been hiding from.
Recovery became my only option.
After a little bit of sober time it finally became clear to me why hiding is so dangerous.
We think we are isolating ourselves and hiding from everything that can hurt us.
What we are really doing is running from things that we cannot outrun, and shutting ourselves off from anything good that could happen in our lives.
I learned that God had been with me in all of my secret ‘hiding’ places.
God who loves me so much; despite all of the places that I had been.
Even after knowing all of the secrets that I thought I had kept.
He already knew the deepest innermost secluded parts of my heart.
When I realized this, and came to a place where I believed this- there is where I found my hope.
Hiding didn’t seem as necessary, and coming out didn’t seem as dangerous.
When our past, our mistakes, our vulnerabilities and short-comings are all known…
and we know it…….
there isn’t any reason to hide.
The truth sets you free because it illuminates all things.
Which means, you that you finally get to come out of hiding.