Tag: grateful

My Birthday, Pregnancy, & Morning Sickness.

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I turned 31 yesterday.

I got a beautiful necklace and ring from my husband and children, along with some useful home-made coupons from my boys….that I will definitely be utilizing before they expire.

Or, they will sit in a drawer looking all cute until I move them to a keepsake box so someday I can re-read them in all of their cute and thoughtful glory.

I got a new, soft, much-needed pillow and some chocolates too.

But most important- my boys went above and beyond showing their thoughtfulness and love for their mama.
My husband made sure that I didn’t have to cook or wash any dishes either.
All around it was pretty incredible.
I live with a pretty great group of men. 🙂

Today also marks my 10th official week of pregnancy.

We still haven’t made a formal public announcement (via Facebook)
My blog platform (and I have nice & kind readers…thank you!) is really the only place that I have mentioned it at this point and we have already told our close immediate family, but for the next couple of weeks, we are keeping it as quiet as possible.

My first appointment is August 12 and that will be an exciting day!

I haven’t worried too much about things developmentally but I am ready to SEE that things are cooking well….and I am so ready to HEAR a heartbeat!

My morning sickness is really just waves of nausea on and off all throughout the day.
Some days are great and I feel like I must be in the clear, and then the next day, it’s back again.
Fatigue is the same.
It is definitely not as bad as it was in weeks 5, 6, 7, 8 but it is still creeping up on me here and there.

I haven’t gained any weight yet, but I am bloated!
I have also had vivid dreams, lots of them and mostly odd ones.
I will spare you the details of them but I am normally one of those people who cannot recall a dream the minute that I attempt to recall a dream….it just vaporizes. These- I can smell the smells, feel the feelings, and remember details. So, that’s been interesting 😉
We also have names for both a boy, and a girl already….I’ll do some name droppin’ in about 10 weeks or so when we know if this little beautiful life is a he or a she…

It’s back to school time- and for us that means a lot of squashing of doctor check-ups, dental check-ups, closet cleaning and shopping  into a few short weeks. It is an exciting time at our house.

All and all guys I am blessed. I hate using that word- I really do.
(it is overused and sounds very holyish.)
So forgive me if it sounds cheesy.

🙂 I reflect a lot.
Part of my Recovery (the LIFE that I LIVE now)
requires a ton of reflecting and it doesn’t just happen on days like today- my birthday.

As I sat back on my birthday, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed; with love, and with thankfulness. No more celebrating by getting trashed and making the entire evening about me, me, me. No more chasing happiness.

Yesterday was just a simple & true celebration of a life that God has allowed me to create, with people who I love, who love me back- and who support me.

There aren’t any better gifts than that for me,  aside from having the opportunity to  experience true rest at the end of a day.

Happy New Year! 2014

 

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We all want to improve or change something in our lives and this time of year gives us a great starting point and although the large majority of people will not actually follow through on their new year’s resolutions, it is still a perfect time to take a step back to reflect on our year.

For me it’s a simple and short process. I do take some time to look back on my year. My gratitude for my sober life is deeply rooted in my life and I do try to make sure my actions reflect my level of gratitude. As long as I did not travel backwards regressing toward something unhealthy, and I am also not a complacent shell of a human,
I basically call that previous year a win; points for me.

My personalWell I look at it like this.
I did not die from my addiction. I tried to. I could have. I almost did a few times.
But, I didn’t. By the Grace of God- I’m alive.
So that’s always a point in the positive side. 🙂

 

My goals are pretty simple milestones. I truly just want to continue living in the now. I will continue to try to inspire my children to be the very best versions of who God created them to be. I want to learn to communicate more effectively with my husband, I want to learn to be a better friend.

I won’t compare my goals to anyone else’s. You shouldn’t either.
This new year is just another block of measured time to do more healthy, positive things. We have more time to learn things and to grow as individuals.

 

Use the start of 2014 to become an even better version of —YOU.

 

Just do it for the right reasons and don’t let the excitement of a new year beginning, take away from all that you are right now.

Carrying Your Message.

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The step 12 that I am familiar with reads like this:
Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles in all our affairs.

I am sure the one you have memorized is similar, give or take a few words or phrases.

Maybe you don’t work a 12-step recovery, and that’s okay. You can still read and relate to this.

Two important things about sharing your message:

1. ) In early recovery carrying your message will help other people
but it will probably benefit you more than you are anticipating.

Most of us go in early on with a simple goal of encouraging someone-
well… anyone, or at least ….one person who happens to be listening to us.

The process & preparation involved in sharing in early recovery
is something that contributes and promotes more personal healing for us than we can see at the time.

*First there is the reflecting and writing part.
There is something really powerful about writing your very personal experience down on screen or paper with the intent to share.
It can be an overwhelming process, but overwhelming in a really, really great way.
It is almost too much goodness. Like, is this even real life?
It is remarkable how much has changed and how much peace we have found.
Just wow.

*Then, there is the reading it out loud to a room full of strangers who may or may not be there by choice part, that brings another level of self-healing.
Deep breaths and tiny prayers whispered before beginning won’t help you hold back the gigantic alligator tears that are coming.
They’ll come anyway.Keep speaking. Everything is still so fresh, and raw.
It is likely that a mixture of gratitude and disbelief will take over your entire body and there won’t be much you can do to stop it all from happening.
You are glowing and the happy is just seeping out of your skin.
You might have a wet sloppy tear soaked face and a runny nose, but
you are alive and this experience is surreal.

What you are really hoping is that one human hearing your words needs to hear these words.
That one heart out there is feeling a little bit of relief hearing how much you have come back from, and how resilient our spirits really are. Someone is connecting with your message. They hear you telling them how accessible and free grace is. They can see that the hard work won’t have to be done alone. Someone out there just might keep trying because of something that you say.If you can stand up there all sober and grateful, then surely, anyone can.

2.) The ways that you carry your message won’t always look the same. (and that’s okay!) 
Over time the way that you carry your message will shift according to where you are planted.
We all have a specific gift and different ways of connecting with people.
So of course how we connect with people will change and grow as we change and grow as people.

For me, as time has passed the focus of my story has shifted little by little.
It  has become less about me and the details of my specific journey as an individual,
and has become more about helping other people to embrace whatever God has in store for their lives.

We are everywhere carrying our message.
Some of us are more boisterous than others, but we are out there.
We are living and sharing stuff.
We have worked hard and have learned the value of living well; we strive to lead healthy lives, living as the best versions of ourselves. We are everywhere. All twenty threeish million of us.

Living sober has offered us the opportunity to uncover our life’s true purpose,
and we are free to take our message of hope with us wherever we go.
So embrace your story.
Allow it to change and grow with you.
Don’t be afraid to own your experiences.
Do what you can with what you have from where you are.
Take your message to other people.

I know there is someone out there who needs to hear what you have to say.


 

 

 

Addiction Recovery- Things that have helped me -1

Out of the countless tools and newly acquired skills that I have learned in the past seven years, one of the most important concepts that I had to accept is what I am going to talk about today.
It sounds very simple, here it is:
It is not my job to fix your problems.

Calm Drama Free Life

I am grateful for the experiences that I had during my 20’s, and all that I was able to take away, learn from and grow because of. However, I am ready to embrace what 30 has to offer! Who knows where God is going to take me, but I am ready to find out! No regrets, no   tailoring my decisions based off of other people’s opinions- just ready to get out and do some awesome things!

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