Relationships are ideally suppose to be two whole people, coming together to be like a badass couple. I felt like I was one person, babysitting this broken person.
To be honest, It was very very hard. I needed things too. I wanted love and affection. I needed attention. These are things that you usually expect when you are in a long-term, healthy relationship.
She just didn’t have anything to give at a certain point.
So yes. It was hard. I had to learn not to be selfish and that if I EVER wanted to have a whole person as my future wife, I needed to keep you alive first.
We had our good days and our bad days, but I stuck to the plan.
I did not bend any of the set agreements that we had and I was pretty hard on you.
I came off as over-bearing but I just knew that you would walk all over me if I budged at all..
I know it drove you crazy.
I also know now, that you were so annoyed and touchy for a long time but it was more you detoxing. A lot of your aggression and anger was not even because of me or my ‘crazy’ expectations. You were coming off of drugs and learning how to live in a sober world.
***What would you tell someone who is frustrated, dealing with the mood swings and anger issues that commonly come with detoxing and trying to stay sober?
Don’t take it personally. Most of the time, she would lash out at me or blame me for something, or just want to fight for no apparent reason.
I learned that there are so many different things that she was going through and none of it had much to do with me —
so learn to be patient and just take it. (assuming it was non-violent/abusive etc.)
At the time I did not understand and I did fight back more than once. It took me awhile to learn that she was going through emotional things and psychological things that I could not help with.
I will say that I did not allow her to use that as an excuse to fight. I am just saying that I understand why some things happened the way that they did early on.