Category: Addiction

Tips For The Holidays

Tips For The Holidays

I was asked to be a part of an expert panel for a Facebook live event put on by the ever wonderful, Beach House Center for Recovery. I definitely had to dig my heels into this commitment, but I refused to let myself back out.¬†I am proud of myself for following through on my word. …

Here’s To 10 Years of Digging Out

This is the month that I acknowledge that I have made it to my ten-year mark. Ten short years in recovery. No more squirming around searching for a place to land. It’s completely fulfilling here and I am still just as grateful as ever to live in this head space. It has been a long …

Should Drug-Dealers Be Held Accountable For Overdose Deaths?

I have been hearing more and more stories of drug-traffickers, pushers, and dealers being held criminally responsible for overdose deaths. I am also a regular viewer of the show: “The First 48” and have been for almost 15 seasons now. So basically I am an expert in criminal law and homicide investigation. ūüėČ In cases …

How To Get Through Halloween Sober.

Before I became addicted to Benzodiazepines and tirelessly & unsuccessfully escaping my life, I was a self-categorized professional ‘party girl’. Ahhh. The life of ridiculous, careless, over-indulgence. What a glamorous thing.¬† Long before my physiological-self needed its next high to start any given day, my false-self (ego) needed to remain active at all times, as …

Don’t Give Up

Don’t Give Up

Music speaks to me in a unique way and I loved this song the very first time I heard it on the radio a few weeks ago. Today is first time I have had a chance to watch the ‘official’ video for this song. I sat this morning with tears streaming down my face as …

Dear Younger, More Naive, Critical, Me

In case you need a reminder today: It’s¬†going to be okay. You are not a failure. Lapse, relapse, messed up, slipped up, fucked up, wrong choice? It doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve sobriety. It doesn’t mean that you will always just mess up. It also doesn’t mean that you have failed and you should …

3 Powerful Things I Have Learned In Recovery

Funny, amazing, beautiful, painful, crazy awesome things happen when you allow God to disassemble your entire life and the person who you thought you were, and allow¬†transformation¬†to happen. I am not sure if I have gone through so many internal overhaul’s because I got sober at a young age, or¬†because¬†until that point I had never …

Doubting God & Making My Faith My Own

Yesterday I was digging around looking for an application for certification that I had misplaced. (Because there is nothing that makes more sense than being a housemommywife with credentials that I won’t actually be using.) I found the application, along with (a quarter, yes.This is a small portion) of my hand-written notes from back in …

4 Ways To Avoid Your Baggage, That Won’t Help You

Baggage. We all have it. How full it is, what it contains, and how willing you are to unpack it depends on who you are. And I learned the hard way, as I do most of my life things, that unpacking the bag is more wise than some of the alternatives…. Growing up, I hid …

The Experience of Love

  Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change. In fact, God loves you so that you can change. What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change is the experience of love. It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change.¬† ‚Äē Richard …

What’s It Like To Be Sober?

September means that National Recovery Month has come around again. Maybe for you that means that the extra circulation and publicity and open sharing will get your mind reeling.¬†You have heard all of these things before and while many of them sound appealing to you, you are afraid. Because moving can feel risky. It can …

Here’s What I Thought I Needed To Be Accepted

From my kitchen I could hear the television in our living room.¬†I caught the end of an interview of a young woman. I listened as she tried to explain why she had been bleaching and lightening her skin. She described what it felt like to experience feelings of inadequacy and when she began to view …

5 Things I Learned From My First Blog Baby

5 Things I Learned From My First Blog Baby

I launched my first blog, Forgiving Bizarre, back in 2011. This was my first header photo. Okay, not completely mine because it was composed of several bad ass photos that I stole from Google images, but mostly mine. And because the name alone wasn’t enough to let my readers (*cough, no one) know that I …

I Could Have Died In My Safe Places.

  Since sobering up I have traded my daily quest for temporary freedom for something with more meat on it; something deeper. Something less transparent and more enduring. When I was at my darkest I sought out freedom on a daily basis. It was a frail, wimpy, expensive, kind of freedom.¬†But cheap was fast, easy, …

Have Your Time.

I turned 33 today. 33 non-recovery, biological years old. That means have been in recovery since I was 23 + a fistful of months. People often make comments about how cool it is that I got sober at such a young age. And I have to humbly agree. It is pretty cool. Experiencing spiritual death …

I Can’t Have it All.

When I forcefully managed to spit out a very quiet and unsure ‘yes’ in reply to the question: “Do you want some help?” I may have been bubbling over with reluctance that pressured me to hesitate and accept help with the same apathy that I approached each day with, but I was also really, really, …

I Was A Terrible Sponsor.

To live out my step 12¬†I felt like I needed to be of service. I did practice the principles I had learned in my affairs but I felt like it needed to be more. I had to reach out and I had give back. It was important to make myself available and I felt like …

Accept Not Fix.

Long before I found myself in the process of¬†self-discovery where I was unpacking and finally facing the fact that I was a codependent, enabling, doormat-ish kind of person I was reluctantly facing another harsh truth. It was time to¬†choose to accept help for my drug addiction. What had held me back and what had kept …

Looking Back Isn’t The Same.

As I have stated previously, I (respectfully) choose not to identify¬†as a drug addict but that doesn’t mean that I am not reminded on a daily basis that I am a rehabilitated person; a previously shattered, broken, empty, lost, human being currently living on borrowed and gifted time. I am reminded of¬†that every single day. …

2 Reasons to Fight Stigma:

For years (way too many) people have been allowed to freely assume, to judge & generalize, and to categorize & marginalized the people out in the community who struggle with addiction. This is called stigma. We (people who have struggled with addiction) are finally standing up to tell people that it’s wrong. If you have …

My Personal Decision to Shed the “Addict” Label

My Personal Decision to Shed the “Addict” Label

Often, addiction as a disease, is compared to diabetes. People will say that people with diabetes aren’t being stigmatized for their condition. And you’re right. I agree with that. People develop it. Sometimes it’s random, other times it is a lifestyle combined with genetics. What would happen if you met a person, let’s call her …

5 Common Roadblocks in Recovery

You know that saying “Nothing¬†worth having comes easy?” When it comes to being a newly sober person this couldn’t be more true. A person who is has become chemically dependent on a substance has a tough road ahead when it comes to long-term sobriety. They will need a strong support system behind them. Here are …

I’ll Have What I’m Having.

  The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) offers this definition of Recovery: ‚ÄúRecovery from alcohol and drug problems is a process of change through which an individual achieves abstinence and improved health, wellness and quality of life.‚ÄĚ My personal journey through sobriety and long-term recovery has changed many times over the last eight …

Dear Young People.

You just can’t see it coming. This was me. Before stealing. Before juvenile court. Before jail. Before lawyers. Before counselors. Before programs. Before isolation. Before suicide attempts. Before overdoses. Before tickets. Before judges. Before emptiness. Before probation.   A junior in high school. -I had just won an award for a photo that I entered …

6 Things to Remember in Early Recovery

Recently, an anonymous person wrote to me and told me that they were interested in giving rehab another try, but they didn’t think that they could do it. Sobriety was something that she had tried a¬†few times, and thus far, she has relapsed every single time. But she is¬†motivated to try¬†again and feels like she …

Recovering Out Loud.

I have received a ton of positive and uplifting feedback in reference to the “guest posts/shares” section of this blog.¬† I really wanted to take a second say thank you, and share my thoughts on why its important to share our stories as people who are living in recovery from drugs and alcohol.¬† Among all …

Merry Christmas from Discovering Beautiful!

Discovering Beautiful isn’t about outer beauty. It is a bunch of writing shared from my heart to yours. My¬†blog emphasizes the beauty that is nonexistent &¬†¬†unnoticed when living an empty life addicted and hopeless. Sobriety and Recovery both allow us to embrace life. Because of God’s Grace, we are alive, and are given a second …

I Don’t Belong In a Church

I have been reflecting on my time and my experiences with Celebrate Recovery, and although I don’t attend meetings anymore, there are so many things that this program taught me. It is okay to be *exactly* who you are inside of an actual church: During one of the very first large group sessions that I …

Hot Mess, Party of One.

October and November were uncharacteristically difficult for me. Like really crappy. I mean we all have stress, and we all have our fair share of ‘lifey’ kinds of things that are always happening. Hell I know and have been praying for some families who are really struggling with some serious things right now. But I …

Interesting Article…

I read this¬†article today. It centers around the theory that if a human person was born into an ideal/healthy environment regardless of whether or not there were drugs offered or available, they would be less likely to become addicted to that drug; in essence, preventing them from becoming an addict. Environment #1. I have a …

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